I'm starting to hit the wall with this deployment. It's been about two months since hubby left and I am ready for him to come home. Unfortunately as you can see in the ticker on my sidebar I've still got quite a bit of time until he's back, and that is only for his two week R&R. Most things aren't such a big deal, I'm used to taking care of housework on my own and am getting help with things like yard work when needed {like when it took me two hours to mow half the lawn because the mower kept stopping on me and I was this close to smashing the mower to bits}.
One thing that I {and the kids I'm sure} am having trouble adjusting to is Shawn not coming home in the evenings, lunch breaks or being home on the weekends. Each day around dinner time is the most challenging. Both kids want my attention, we're all hungry & I'm usually trying to figure out what to make at 5:00 rather than already having it planned out or using the crock pot. It's not such a pretty sight. The other day I had to take Lydia to the doctor for her check up and long story short we were there over an hour {before we saw the doctor} and it ended with two of us in tears - Lydia got her shots and I was losing my mind. Did I mention that the doctor threatened to report me to Social Services if I delayed getting her shots? I wish I were joking. I'm not talking about my refusing to ever give my daughter shots, {though a parent can delay shots for a couple of years or until the child starts daycare/school} only putting it off a week or two because like I said we were there for over an hour. Michael wasn't listening to me, both kids were getting tired, I was already tired & not feeling well and just wanted to go home.
After getting home & putting the kids down for a nap {which is a crapshoot with Michael these days} I was thinking that they should have obedience training, but for kids. You know, like you bring your dog in and the trainer teaches them basic commands like sit, stay, speak, roll over, etc.? Like that but with kids and a trainer teaching them basic commands like no, sit, stay, sleep, pick up your toys, eat your dinner, etc. And then it hit me - I'm the trainer. Well technically my husband & I are the trainers, it's a team effort and let me tell you, I miss my teammate. I miss the kids playing with him while I cook dinner, I miss the way Michael immediately follows instruction while it takes him 2 hours to pick up his toys when I ask. With me everything is a fight - I find myself either negotiating with my three year old or turning into 'mean mommy' {I hate being mean mommy} all too often.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and all that comes with being a mommy {well except stuff like getting boogers wiped on my clothes} . But it's very hard without the daddy around. I have a great respect for single moms who do this day in & day out without having a 'return date' to look at least forward to. Being a married single mom is a season in my life and I believe the Lord will use it to teach & grow me - I just wish there could be less growing pains in the process.
Thanks for visiting & 'listening',
One thing that I {and the kids I'm sure} am having trouble adjusting to is Shawn not coming home in the evenings, lunch breaks or being home on the weekends. Each day around dinner time is the most challenging. Both kids want my attention, we're all hungry & I'm usually trying to figure out what to make at 5:00 rather than already having it planned out or using the crock pot. It's not such a pretty sight. The other day I had to take Lydia to the doctor for her check up and long story short we were there over an hour {before we saw the doctor} and it ended with two of us in tears - Lydia got her shots and I was losing my mind. Did I mention that the doctor threatened to report me to Social Services if I delayed getting her shots? I wish I were joking. I'm not talking about my refusing to ever give my daughter shots, {though a parent can delay shots for a couple of years or until the child starts daycare/school} only putting it off a week or two because like I said we were there for over an hour. Michael wasn't listening to me, both kids were getting tired, I was already tired & not feeling well and just wanted to go home.
After getting home & putting the kids down for a nap {which is a crapshoot with Michael these days} I was thinking that they should have obedience training, but for kids. You know, like you bring your dog in and the trainer teaches them basic commands like sit, stay, speak, roll over, etc.? Like that but with kids and a trainer teaching them basic commands like no, sit, stay, sleep, pick up your toys, eat your dinner, etc. And then it hit me - I'm the trainer. Well technically my husband & I are the trainers, it's a team effort and let me tell you, I miss my teammate. I miss the kids playing with him while I cook dinner, I miss the way Michael immediately follows instruction while it takes him 2 hours to pick up his toys when I ask. With me everything is a fight - I find myself either negotiating with my three year old or turning into 'mean mommy' {I hate being mean mommy} all too often.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and all that comes with being a mommy {well except stuff like getting boogers wiped on my clothes} . But it's very hard without the daddy around. I have a great respect for single moms who do this day in & day out without having a 'return date' to look at least forward to. Being a married single mom is a season in my life and I believe the Lord will use it to teach & grow me - I just wish there could be less growing pains in the process.
Thanks for visiting & 'listening',
♥
7 comments:
{{HUGS}} Oh, my friend, I understand totally. Last winter when hubby was gone, I found that late-afternoon to bedtime window the most trying as well. It seemed to stretch on F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!! I almost went insane on a daily basis, it felt like.
I don't have any words of wisdom -- other than that it REALLY helps to be organized! (but that's easier said than done, I know that too!), but please know you're in my prayers.
Boy do I remember the days when my kids were younger and my husband was never home for dinner - traveling salesman and would be gone a lot. I have to admit that I had a whole different dinner routine when he was gone that consisted of easier meals. We did a lot of grilled cheese and soup, eggs and pancakes, cereal and fruit, etc. It was just too hard all by myself. A mom can get really tired and forget to take care of herself and take some time for herself to recharge. Hope you feel the prayers of the people who care about you.
I am so sorry! I've never been through this sort of thing, but I can only imagine how hard it must be. *hugs*
Here's a hug..wish we lived closer and we could share that pre-dinner hour. Jeff travels a lot(most weeknights)and too frequently I become the screaming-mimi-mama. I can't imagine how I would feel if it extended over weekends as well.
When I was in vet school and studying was the 'baby' that needed tending to, three friends and I formed a supper club. One person hosted and made dinner for the group (nothing fancy just food) and the others came to just eat then they were free to go study. The next night, you went to someone else's. So you cooked and cleaned up on the night you were responsible and then you freeloaded the other nights. I wish I could do that now but we live too far out in the country...but maybe it could be plausible for you on base with other mothers in the situation?
And you know, Kraft Mac'n'cheese and a side of frozen peas (cooked of course) *is* a balanced dinner.
Hang in there, hon. You have been in my prayers since I ran across your blog. We have a lady at our church who is not only a mommy to three (two with autism) but has a foster daughter who is three months old. And her hubby is in Afghanistan. I don't know how you all do it without your other half there to bolster you up. Caps off and many prayers for you and all the ladies running their house holds while their husbands serve our country.
Anybody who does the single parenting thing for ANY length of time has my respect and admiration.
I know I just could NOT handle it. You are an incredibly strong woman.
((HUGS))
My husband works out of town every week from either Sunday or Monday until Friday night (not the same, I know,) but sometimes it's difficult for me to handle the kids by myself! I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Post a Comment