Too Fast

Yesterday I was folding the huge mound of laundry on my bed {accumulated for a few days - oops!} and Michael spotted his underwear. He was very excited about this. While I was putting away Lydia's clothes he grabbed the pile of undies & walked into his room. I went in after him to find that he put the underwear in his top dresser drawer - TOP dresser drawer. I wanted to see him do it & he showed me that he could reach up to open & shut the drawer. o_o This morning he turned on & off his bedroom light - without using his drum stool. My little boy is growing up so fast - he's taller, talks more, observes more, he surprises & impresses me with something new everyday. He really loves going to school & wants to earn stars on his calendar. Yesterday he was sad - almost to tears, because he only had a smiley face & he didn't listen to his teacher. At first I thought it was great that he wants to do so well in school, then I wondered "why doesn't he want to listen to ME??".

Here's some pictures of the kids blowing bubbles the other day!

One of Those Days

Several of you have left me sweet comments saying that you have thought about me at various times, usually after hearing news about the goings on in Iraq and several have also given me encouraging comments about how well I'm doing and how strong I am and you don't know how I do it. When people tell me they don't know how they do it, being a married single mom, I usually reply that I take things one day at a time and I just do it because, well I have to. There really isn't an option not to do 'it' unless I wanted us to starve and end up with no clothing in a dirty house and no social life. Obviously that's not really a choice. So I do it. But I don't always do it well or as well as I could.

Today was one of those days. It started out fine meeting up with some other wives for coffee, playing with the kids in the park and then running a couple of quick errands. And then I'm not sure what happened. Michael didn't take his nap {usually only does max of three days out of the week}, Lydia woke up early with an exploded diaper while I was chatting with the hubs online, three doorbell interruptions in the middle of all that, kids getting into things making more of a mess than there was and being behind on housework - all of it just seemed to pile on. I also realized in the middle of that that our registration on the vehicle I'm driving {other is on non op since I don't need two cars right now} has expired and I haven't received anything in the mail about it.

I was frustrated, overwhelmed, kicking myself for getting behind on various things and cramping - which never helps anything. Michael argued with me on everything he could, at least twice which upset me and 'bad mommy' guilt followed. Most of today was a day that I just try to get through each hour looking forward to the kids' bedtime and dreading it all at the same time because it means the house will be quiet & I would be 'alone'. It's a good time to get caught up around the house but also my time to relax and unwind. So for now that's what I'm doing, unwinding. The other stuff can wait.

Thanks for visiting. And I truly thank you all for your supportive & encouraging comments you often leave. Tomorrow will be a new day with a fresh start and I look forward to that.

Obediance Training

I'm starting to hit the wall with this deployment. It's been about two months since hubby left and I am ready for him to come home. Unfortunately as you can see in the ticker on my sidebar I've still got quite a bit of time until he's back, and that is only for his two week R&R. Most things aren't such a big deal, I'm used to taking care of housework on my own and am getting help with things like yard work when needed {like when it took me two hours to mow half the lawn because the mower kept stopping on me and I was this close to smashing the mower to bits}.

One thing that I {and the kids I'm sure} am having trouble adjusting to is Shawn not coming home in the evenings, lunch breaks or being home on the weekends. Each day around dinner time is the most challenging. Both kids want my attention, we're all hungry & I'm usually trying to figure out what to make at 5:00 rather than already having it planned out or using the crock pot. It's not such a pretty sight. The other day I had to take Lydia to the doctor for her check up and long story short we were there over an hour {before we saw the doctor} and it ended with two of us in tears - Lydia got her shots and I was losing my mind. Did I mention that the doctor threatened to report me to Social Services if I delayed getting her shots? I wish I were joking. I'm not talking about my refusing to ever give my daughter shots, {though a parent can delay shots for a couple of years or until the child starts daycare/school} only putting it off a week or two because like I said we were there for over an hour. Michael wasn't listening to me, both kids were getting tired, I was already tired & not feeling well and just wanted to go home.

After getting home & putting the kids down for a nap {which is a crapshoot with Michael these days} I was thinking that they should have obedience training, but for kids. You know, like you bring your dog in and the trainer teaches them basic commands like sit, stay, speak, roll over, etc.? Like that but with kids and a trainer teaching them basic commands like no, sit, stay, sleep, pick up your toys, eat your dinner, etc. And then it hit me - I'm the trainer. Well technically my husband & I are the trainers, it's a team effort and let me tell you, I miss my teammate. I miss the kids playing with him while I cook dinner, I miss the way Michael immediately follows instruction while it takes him 2 hours to pick up his toys when I ask. With me everything is a fight - I find myself either negotiating with my three year old or turning into 'mean mommy' {I hate being mean mommy} all too often.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and all that comes with being a mommy {well except stuff like getting boogers wiped on my clothes} . But it's very hard without the daddy around. I have a great respect for single moms who do this day in & day out without having a 'return date' to look at least forward to. Being a married single mom is a season in my life and I believe the Lord will use it to teach & grow me - I just wish there could be less growing pains in the process.

Thanks for visiting & 'listening',

♥

Masterpiece Monday {page 5}

So I am LOVING this weekly motivator to get me scrapping. Not just because I'm making progress on the many memories I want to preserve with pictures, journaling & make pretty with paper & embellishments. But taking the time for myself at least once a week to do something I enjoy is fantastic. To me scrapbooking is more than just fun, it's relaxing and therapeutic in a way. Looking back at photos, capturing moments I'll never get back. I just love it. This week I didn't scrap while the kids were napping. Between playgroup, my sinuses and keeping up with housework it just didn't happen. And then Friday came & I didn't want to do a.single.thing. Yesterday while the kids were napping I was feeling much better and was inspired. So while hubby was browsing the net for music and we had our own little limewire party I scrapped. The limewire thing was a lot of fun, we were totally rocking out to the 80's - "We've got to hold on to what we've got 'Cause it doesn't make a difference If we make it or not We've got each other and that's a lot For love - we'll give it a shot" Anyone else love ♥ this song? Considering my age this may sound odd but this song holds a special sentiment to me. I even have a shirt with the lyrics and band's name on it. And I'm wearing it in the pictures on my last page. Today I took advantage of nap time again and made another page. I really like how it turned out. Anyways - onto the scrappy stuff! Thanks for looking & to see more Masterpiece Monday participators or join in on the fun click on the button above.

I love love love these sleeping photos of Lydia. I have some of Michael in the same profile pose with arms spread out. {I'm sure most moms do as it is a common sleeping position for babies} These layouts are very simple but I love them. I inked the Bazzil {textured cardstock}, matted my photos and stamped out the lyrics to an entire lullaby I found in PeaSoup by searching for 'sleeping baby', I wanted some inspiration for a quote or poem. It didn't list the author who wrote the song but you can read the full lyrics here, along with the back story. I just loved it. My favorite verses are the first & last. I was so glad to fit it all onto my pages, though I'd have preferred to keep it in it's original format. The stamp set I used had the star stamps and I thought it was fitting with the whole sleeping photos, though I'm sure these pictures were taken while she was napping during the day - that's beside the point. I hand cut the brackets and called it done.

This may be one of my most favorite pages ever. I've often been inspired by various techniques that digital scrappers use but don't have the software or full desire to venture into digital scrapbooking. When I was looking through my patterned papers and found one with pretty, large flowers on it I instantly saw the page. When I was through tediously silhouetting {fancy for cutting out} the flowers I wanted with way too big of scissors I realized how much space the flowers would take up and didn't want to cover them after all the time spent. So instead I layered them with my photos, without covering the focal point. I had a few ideas for a title "Mother of two", "Mom/Mommy to two" but then I thought mother sounded a little older than I wanted it to and Michael rarely calls me mommy. I'm momma {Shawn is daddy} and that's what Lydia can say {for now} as well. So there came my title. The photos are simply matted, I used two colors on the one because I didn't have a wide enough piece of either color but like how it looks. For the journaling I wrote on three of the flowers {two around the edges} and one of the leaves. This is what I wrote:

on the top two flowers
"Sometimes being a mom is hard. You get tired & frustrated but then...they give you a sweet smile, snuggle up or give you a kiss for no other reason than they love you. Once in a while you even hear "thank you" or "good job momma" & that is when your ♥ melts!"

on the bottom flower
"When you see them loving others you know you are doing something right and it keeps you going."

on the leaf in the middle
"love, teach, guide, protect"

♥

Faithful Friday {week 5}

So my weeks are definitely not in good order, I've missed I don't know how many but this morning my blog buddy Kim at Daily Blessings sent me an instant message & reminded me - thanks Kim! What? you don't chat with your blog buddies? Oh, well I do, not everyone but some. Anyways I'm giving this another try. Spiritually I've been dry lately. We haven't found a church or actively searching which doesn't help, I haven't done a Bible study since Michael was little, I haven't done a devotion in I don't know how long, truth be told I hardly pray anymore except when I put my kids to bed. Since my mom died I've been conflicted with some things and I think the way I'm dealing with it {right or wrong} is just pushing things to the side and trying to get through each day. I realize that spending time in the Word, putting things into perspective, reading about all the good that God has for me at the beginning of the day would help me get through but I haven't been. No excuses, I just haven't. So I'm dry and I guess that makes it easy for me to forget about Faithful Friday. But really I shouldn't. The good news is that God is faithful even when I am not. I'll get more into this next week but for today I'm going to talk about what I pray for my kids at night.

Each night when I put my kids in bed I give them hugs & kisses and tell them that I love them. Michael of course needs water and specifies which blanky he wants to use and wants to talk & snuggle. Most nights I read him a book too but we're not as consistent as we used to be. With Lydia it's a little easier, put her in the crib, give her the blanket, turn on her musical mickey thing and say ni-night. With both of my kids I pray for them. I ask God to keep them safe & healthy and continue to grow their character & personalities. The main request that I have is that He fill in the gaps. I try my best, and so does my husband, to be a good parent but we're far from perfect. We've argued in front of the kids, shown them poor choices & get overwhelmed and upset at times. I ask God to fill in the gaps where I have 'failed' or let them down because I know that I'm going to make mistakes & already have. My mom used to apologize to me in a mostly joking tone about any future therapy I would need as a result of her parenting. Now as a parent I understand what she meant. The task is so daunting and overwhelming at times. To think that every choice we make not only in our parenting but just in what we say & do in our lives as ourselves {not in 'parent' mode} has an impact on our kids. It's hard to think that they won't turn out screwed up in some way. But God is faithful, He is the ultimate parent & can fill in those gaps. No one is or has a perfect parent and most of us turn out okay. I'm not sure if that all came out like I was trying to communicate but I'm a little hormonal and tired and rambling.

Thanks for stopping by and if you have something to write about Faithful Friday please let me know so I can come & read.

*Also, scroll down for some really exciting news on a post I put up earlier today. w00t!*

Works For Me Wednesday - Diaper Rash

As promised an old wives' tale home remedy - {from my mother in law who learned it from her mother} - that actually works!

Lydia has had a bad rash for a while now. The doctor prescribed her some cream and it would seem to help for a little while and then the rash would come back with full force. I felt bad for her and was frustrated with the cream & the rash. When my mother in law saw my poor baby's red irritated bottom she asked if I had any cornstarch. *A quick note to those of you who may not know me so well - I'm not a great cook, I don't venture too far outside my 5-8 meals that I feel comfortable cooking {read: I'm not afraid that I'll totally screw it up}. It's okay to feel sorry for my hubby - I do.* So anyway, she asks if I have cornstarch and I look at her blankly {because I have no idea what I would use it for if I did} and say, um...no. So the next time we went to the store we got some cornstarch and she put some in an empty garlic salt shaker - which worked well because of the large holes. I was instructed to put some cornstarch on the rash {with or without the cream} each time I changed her diaper. And do you know what happened? The next day, after about 4 diaper changes, she was noticeably less red and irritated. It really worked. I've got to admit I was a little surprised because why would cornstarch which cost only a couple $$ work so well when this pricey cream hadn't. I'd show you before & after pictures normally but it's my baby's booty so you'll just have to take my word for it.

For more great WFMW tips, ideas & stories check out Rocks In My Dryer and if you have something - anything - that works for you join in and share with the rest of us!

And This is How We Celebrated

This morning I put Michael in the bathtub to keep him busy {and clean} while I decorated for his birthday. When he came downstairs and saw the streamers up and confetti on the table he said, “Wow! Birthday Party!” If he had been fully dressed and I had been prepared you would see a picture of this reaction, but there is none. While Shawn was home between PT and work we had a pancake party. Michael <3’s st="on">Lydia down for a nap while Michael and I bowled. Shawn had asked him what he wanted to do today and he said bowling. Since we’re doing that next week we used his little set and bowled at home. We both had lots of fun. Shawn was home for a while again so after lunch we went to the fantastic park down the street. I think I’ve mentioned this park before, the one with the great play equipment and Starbucks on sight – it now has a water play area also. This park will get me through the summer! Oh and the kids too. :P Anyway at first Michael was timid to play in the water but with a little coaxing {read: running through water while holding him} from me & daddy he got into it and was running through and splashing around all on his own. Shawn got in on the fun when about a half a dozen kids tagged team him in a water fight. I am glad to say that my hubby did not instigate this battle, sad to say however that they left him drenched.

Happy birthday my sweet son, Mommy & Daddy love you so much! May God bless you in your third year and continue to shape you into the wonderful little man you are growing into. And maybe slow down a little – please? For mommy?

**Note: This is another multiple post day, to read more about Michael’s birthday see the post below.**

My Little Boy is 3

Happy Birthday Michael!! I still can't believe that I have a three year old, I don't feel old enough for that. I know, I know - just wait until they are 13 or 30 you say. And to that I say "What? I couldn't hear you with my hands over my ears, my eyes closed and talking very LOUDLY so I couldn't hear you." I know, I'm in denial and I'm okay with that for now.

So, three years ago today I was laboring to birth my firstborn into this world. My labor started around 1:45 in the morning and of course I had no clue. I was already 8 days past due and at that point thought I'd be attending my son's high school graduation with him still in utero. {there's a red line under that word telling me it's not a word but I know I've heard it and just can't find the correct spelling} I woke up feeling crampy so I took a warm shower and tried to rest. When I woke up again I found that I was spotting. Still thinking I'd be carrying this child in my womb to his wedding I freaked out. I called up the advice line that my provider had and explained my symptoms to the nurse on the other end. And with my dumb luck I get a male nurse. A man had to tell me that I was more than likely in labor and to start timing the contractions and take it easy. Did you catch that? A man had to tell me I was in labor. I felt so dumb.

By 10:30 we were at the hospital and I was already dilated to 4 (I think). I was quite pleasant in the earlier stages of labor, excusing myself from conversations with the hospital staff while I had a contraction, apologizing for the interruption. I'm not kidding. My mom was like "how is she my daughter?", it was funny. Until hard labor hit, then I was no longer smiling, laughing, apologizing or making conversation. I had back labor and I don't wish that on anyone. I couldn't get comfortable, the silly monitor strap around my large tummy kept falling off and I was hungry and all anyone would give me were ice chips. Ice chips? Shawn did pretty well throughout the whole thing, risking his life to see if rubbing my back would comfort each contraction when each contraction was different. His fatal mistake? Well, there were two. During one hard contraction he continued a conversation with his mother and caught a little more than the evil eye from me. During another contraction while trying to help me breath slowly he breathed on me, right after eating chocolate. Considering the crime he got off easy with only a washcloth being thrown at him the entire time. I don't remember telling him to never touch me again or any of that but I can't be sure.

After about 17 hours of labor, some drug to relax me & regulate the contractions in an iv {can't remember the name but it didn't take any of the pain away, only made me want to sleep}, my water being broken and getting an episiotomy {ouch!} my 7 lb 14 oz 20½ inch big headed boy was born. He was so precious. Well initially he was quite slimy and I was in shock but once they cleaned him up I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Daddy cut the umbilical cord and the grandparents made their rounds through to see the first grandchild. During labor our parents and grandparents took turns visiting but during the delivery I kicked everyone out, I just wanted it to be me & Shawn.

My pregnancy with Michael was enjoyable. I didn't have morning sickness and up until the last few weeks was pretty comfortable. The second trimester greeted me with some serious heartburn but with the proper medication that was even tolerable. I loved feeling him kick and move around and it was strange not to feel that once he was born. I am so happy being a mom, especially his mom. I know I'm partial but he's a special little guy and I love him so much. This photo is of Shawn & I before heading off to the hospital, see I was smiling. Update: I felt I should tell you that I did not remember all of these details on my own. I did refer to his baby book but that's what it's there for right? Right.

Updated: Per the request & reminder of Chriss here is a photo of the three of us post delivery. No, I was not hit by a mac truck - only look like it. And see, no scars on Shawn from the washcloth either. Michael was a little sweety. I <3>

Mother's Day Re-cap

So I'm a little late in getting this done. Yesterday I was tired and uninspired to do anything. Because of that there is now a large pile of clothes waiting to get folded on my couch, a larger pile of clothes in the entry waiting to be cleaned {plus the full hamper}. Every time I think I've gotten ahead of the laundry it starts popping up all over, I'm not even sure where it comes from - I certainly don't have a large wardrobe. So - Mother's Day! It was a good day. Shawn was very sweet and made breakfast, lunch & dinner and even did clean up afterward. He also had Michael make me a card, mostly scribble but very cute. We spent the day at home relaxing and playing with the kids. That night we rented "The Pursuit of Happyness", it was a very good movie. Will Smith did an excellent job and is one of my favorite actors, oh and his son is so adorable. So that was my day. Nothing too big but it was nice to be recognized and feel appreciated. Oh, I almost forgot. When we were eating breakfast, pancakes & eggs, which Michael was very excited about, I told him that it was Mother's Day and asked him if he knew what that meant. His response - "Pancake Party". Shawn and I had fun taking some pictures while we were watching a movie, Under the Tuscan Sun. We actually only saw parts of it, missing a lot in the middle so I'll have to watch for that to come on again. So often our pictures revolve around the kids so it was fun to take some of us. While taking these photos I was thinking in scrap - shocker I know - and I plan on making them look like photo booth photos, you know in the strips. We took more with kisses & funny faces but I'm just posting this one. He was a very good sport about it. It really was a good day. This was the first mother's day that we didn't have any other moms to celebrate with. In the past years I've had my mom, stepmom, mother in law and grandmothers to celebrate with. We'd usually have them over for lunch and give gifts and cards. {I still need to make & mail out cards for my stepmom & mother in law - oops!} This last photo is a picture of the dinner Shawn made for me. It was chicken alfredo over pasta topped with oven roasted tomatoes and served with steamed green beans & zucchini. My hubby is such a great cook and dinner was very tasty. I loved the tomatoes and want to try making them myself on day. Oh and one more thing, to get the picture of me and the kids we had to bribe Michael with ice-cream. He did not want to take a picture. This is also the only one that has both kids looking at the camera - of course I wasn't but oh well. I think with little ones it's hard to get a picture with everyone looking at the camera while smiling. I still like it though.

Mama Meme & Other Tidbits

So I was tagged with another meme a week or so ago. This one is about goals for motherhood and I was tagged by wornoutwoman. I've been thinking about this one. Coming up with goals to set as a parent isn't so tough. I'm sure all of us as parents can come up with a long list of things that we would like to see our kids accomplish and our role in those accomplishments. I think that my goals vary day to day. At the end of more challenging days just keeping my kids (and myself) in one sane piece feels like a huge accomplishment. I love being a mom and think that it is the most rewarding job but it's also the one with the most work. How many times do we as mothers put grand expectations on ourselves and how many feelings of guilt do we drown ourselves in? I know there have been moments when I think to myself - how much therapy are my kids going to need when I'm through with them? (mostly joking) Seriously though, the raising of a child is a very intimidating thing. To think that the decisions I make on a daily basis will affect their development and how they are as adults - that is huge and overwhelming. Thankfully it's not all on my shoulders. I share the load with my hubby who is a fantastic father and I know that God can more than handle filling in the gaps for me when I may be lacking. I know he filled in some gaps for my parents at times, even though they were great parents. So with that said, onto my goals.

1. Raise my children to be responsible contributing adults who can take care of themselves and others (when the time comes).
2. Teach my kids to love and serve God. (I won't disown them if they choose not to)
3. Show my children that I love them daily through my words, actions & hugs.
4. Discover along with them their talents, dreams & path set before them and help them achieve those goals whatever they may be.
5. Be the best mommy I can be, no matter what age they are.

Nothing too profound I know, but when it comes down to it I really think that it all comes down to the little things we do as parents that are the most important. Being consistent, walking out our talk and loving our kids.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In other news...

1. I tried to clean my counter tops & stove with spray n wash the other day.
2. Only realizing when I happened to look at the bottle while putting it away.
3. Then I noticed the distinctive smell, and how it was nowhere near the same as all purpose cleaner.
4. I'm still trying to get back that % of brain that I lost while Lydia was in utero.
5. Guess that goes without saying.
6. I prepared Lasagna for the first time tonight (as in not from freezer section).
7. I say prepared because we couldn't cook it.
8. We're out of foil.
9. I didn't want to chance spray n washing the oven tomorrow.
10. My hubby is a great cook & stepped in to save the day with his chicken fajitas.
11. There is something else I was going to share but now I've forgotten.
12. Refer to #5

Picking my Battles

We as parents, well as people in general also, know the importance of picking our battles. If we fought our kids tooth & nail (where'd that expression come from anyhow?) on every. single. thing then we'd spend our entire days fighting with our kids. I think that God had something else in mind when it came to parenting. So when my son is playing too rough with his little sister I put my foot down, when he back talks or tries to hit me I put my foot down, when he won't give me a hug or kiss - I just steal one anyway ;) Last week when my son decided to make a castle in our pantry I took a picture - okay I took about 5, most of you saw that one coming didn't you? I guess it's the scrapper in me. And by the way my son says 'saffel' instead of castle, replacing the c with an s and the st with f. It took me a minute to realize what he was saying and then another minute to find said saffle. When we were moving he & auntie made a castle out of moving boxes & a blanket.Of course he also has made castles out of blocks, in the sand at the park & beach (back in Cali of course). This time he was being a bit more creative. And yes this was *before* I finally cleaned up his room so maybe the poor kid was a little desperate, but I'd like to think & will just tell myself and anyone who asks that he was being creative. And here is the castle inside my pantry:

If you are wondering, yes the pantry still looks that way. I know it doesn't make sense - even for the most unorganized person to keep tomato soup on top of bread crumbs but at this point I'm thinking two things. 1) If I put it all back like it's supposed to be he'll just move it again anyway. 2) I didn't really have it in any particular order to begin with, so no big deal. Plus he's still proud of his 'saffle' and likes seeing it when he opens up the pantry. By the way kids figure out how to move chairs & stools around the kitchen to get what they want a lot sooner than I was prepared for. And I need to invest in some of those cabinet space saver things. I'm sure they'd end up as part of the castle structure but oh well. Come to think of it I could use quite a few of those items to organize my kitchen... For those of you who don't already know or haven't figured out - I'm a fairly anal/ocd organizational person and the disarray (took me three times to spell that word right) of my house is driving me nuts.

I don't want to leave out Lydia, so here are a few photos that I took of her the other day. Getting some ideas for her 6 month shots that I'll be doing myself this time around. I want to do some outdoors so we'll see what I end up with. For now, here's my beauty (literally, thats what her name translates to).

Another Week is Past

The eggs are put away, more candy has been consumed by my son in one day then I'd like to admit and my stash is hidden for myself to enjoy later. Today was pretty uneventful. The kids and I went to a new church, Shawn stayed home with a migraine. Afterwards we took some photos in our fancy clothes - I may pull a redo tomorrow and catch the kids in a better mood. Lydia was so beautiful in her poofy pink dress. It had netting between the layers so it really poofed, it could have swallowed her whole. It was pretty but she made the dress, I can't get over how sweet she is. And Michael was a handsome little man in his suit & clip on tie and hair all combed. At first the tie bugged him but then he started showing it off. He is such a cutie & I think he knows it. After photos was naptime and I watched some movies - now that we have all these fancy movie channels.

Though we didn't do much today it was a good day. I think I found our new church. It's a small foursquare church ~ just my style. The people were incredibly friendly & welcoming and loved my kids. I really felt at home there so I think the search is over. It is such a cute little church building too, with pews and everything. The worship isn't exactly what I'm used to (I'll miss the drums) but I think the mixture of old Hymns and new songs will be fun. There are a few other military families as well and some other younger people. But there is also a nice range in ages which I like. We'll see after a few weeks how it goes but I do think the search is over.

Well, like I said fairly uneventful day so I don't really have much else to write about. I hope you all had a good time celebrating.

Time Flies

Today I got myself up and things together earlier than usual and took the kids downstairs to the playground. It's a beautiful spring day and I couldn't think of a better way to spend some time with the kids outside of this hotel room. I put everything in my bag (except my cell phone - oops) and we headed downstairs. Michael ran to the playground and started climbing, sliding and laughing - you know his contagious belly laugh. It was great. I laid Lydia down on the grass (with a blanket of course - she may have my sensitive *can't stand to have grass touch or it'll get all red 'n itchy* high maintenance skin after all. She was loving it, I think. I know this much, she wasn't crying so it couldn't have been bad. She had this beautiful look of peace on her face. She was just staring up at the tree we were under, probably amused by the light dancing between the leaves. I'm sure the fresh air was good for her also. I know Michael enjoyed it. I liked the break from the indoors and spending time with the kids relaxing. I chased Michael around a few times which was fun.

While I was sitting on the grass lost in my thoughts I realized that today was the 26th which meant two things. 1) I had to go pay for our last three nights at the hotel so I didn't have to worry about my key not working tomorrow after 10am (who knows if I'll have another early for me start to the day). And 2) my little baby had been 5 months old for six days now and I just realized it!!! Random people I've come across lately have even been asking how old she is and I've automatically responded with 'almost 5 months' but she is 5 months, the day came and went and I was probably so irked at being in this hotel room that I didn't even notice. Not only that but now I have to start thinking of her 6 month photos so I don't forget and to top it off there are still some of her 3 month photos that I have yet to give out since first, I got the appointment made late and second, it was through Penney's which did a great job but they take like 3 weeks to get your photos to you and third I was in the middle of packing/moving when I was also trying to mail out her pictures. This is all very stressful for me. I'm sure some of you are thinking "at least you took her to get the pictures done in the first place" but I remember when Michael was three months old not only did I take him to get his picture taken but I also mailed those puppies out within a week of picking them up from Penney's (there goes that excuse), but no, not just the picture but a letter from Michael talking about all the great stuff he had done up to that point. Okay, so there wasn't a whole lot to write about beyond holding his head up, grabbing toys and drooling on stuff but still there was a letter and people knew what he was doing. Now I remember other moms with more than one child saying something along the lines of "Just wait and see how different it is the second time around. You don't take as many photos, you don't write down as much stuff, you don't do the same things." I believed they were right but figured I could overcome this 'mom of more than one' stereotype/curse or whatever you want to call it. Then Lydia came along and everything started taking me longer, I wasn't writing everything down, I wasn't taking a million pictures of her sleeping (and most of the pictures I took are still saved on a cd or my digital memory card, not filling up albums). And now I missed her turning five months old. Okay, so maybe it isn't that big of a deal but I had my moment.

Time is going quickly in a good way too. Like, did I mention that we'll be out of this room after only 3 more nights here?? Then we get to go sleep in our new house with walls and doors and no beds or internet connection for 3 nights and then our stuff comes. Tell you what, I'm looking forward to the walls and doors so much that I don't care that I might be sleeping on hardwood floors with only a blanket to cushion my back. Actually, Shawn is probably going to borrow an air mattress from a friend or we'll buy one so you don't have to worry about our backs - just in case you were. That reminds me of another way time is passing by - I'm getting old. Okay, okay maybe not in an actual my age is increasing and I'm the ripe old age of whatever you consider old but I say it's as old as you feel. And lately I've been feeling OLD. Like I reached between the portable crib and hotel chair to get Michael's sippy and think I actually pulled a muscle doing it. I'm no doctor buy my shoulder blade area was hurting after. Yeah, stuff like that. More of those 'grunts' as I get up from playing on the floor with the kids than I'm used to. I think it boils down to needing to be more active and getting some exercise on a more routine basis. Not for any other reason than to be healthy, have more energy and not feel so dang old. Especially with hubby getting all in shape and stuff, I don't want him totally blowing me in the dust. ; )

Well, I can't think of time flying any other way than if you throw a clock out the window. (badumching!) Ya, I know - keep my day job. I think it's time for me to go do the dishes since I have soap again and the tiny sink they give us is full. Plus I don't want hubby to think I spent the whole entire day just sitting around on this computer. What am I going to do when we get in the house and I don't have internet set up yet? Call you to talk while I'm sitting at the park drinking a Starbucks - yeah baby. Well, at least those of you who are home during the day like me. Don't think the boss would appreciate you chattin' it up with me on his/her/their time.

Thanks for visiting! Next week you should stay over and help me arrange my furniture - I'll get right on that.



Okay, now this may seem a little cheeseball to some, I know most should understand. But it's my attempt at getting a bigger perspective on life and staying out of the rut I just climbed out of.

I am thankful for:
* my hardworking handsome soldier of a husband who takes care of us
* my gorgeous, healthy fun and oh so loveable kids
* my blog and all of you who visit, esp. those who comment ; )
* nap times for little breaks from oh so loveable kids
* living in a town with stores that I know & enjoy shopping at

Our Sunday

5 days and counting until we are in our new home and let me tell you - I am looking forward to having doors and walls again. So, I know I've been ranting about these doors and walls for quite a few posts now and whoever is reading this is probably thinking 'get over it already, it could be worse, find something else to talk about for crying out loud'. I understand the boredom of hearing about it over and over again but when you hear about my 'adventurous' night I'm sure you'll understand my incessant and relentless griping/whining/rant.

So it was a typical night of the kids finally being asleep around 10:00pm, I of course couldn't sleep until about 1:00 in the morning and Shawn was out by 11ish - fortunately for him he doesn't suffer from insomnia bouts like I do. (I don't know if it's technically insomnia but ever since I can remember I've had trouble sleeping. Just ask my sister. When we were shared a room we had bunk beds and after trying to sleep for what felt like forever to me (probably only about 5 minutes) I would lean over the bed and ask her if she was sleeping which she always was because - duh! her head did hit the pillow and for normal people I guess that's all it takes. Anyway, it used to bug her I guess because I would go on and on about how I couldn't sleep and ask her how she did it. It just wasn't fair.) Anyway, so I was finally asleep and sometime around 2 Lydia woke up wanting to nurse and snuggle (she's just so used to sleeping in bed with me) so I went back to sleep and by 3ish Michael was up whining about I still don't know what but he ended up in bed with me too. I didn't want him to wake up Shawn and wouldn't be able to sleep myself. Now, let me remind you that we have two full size beds in this room, by full I mean full - not queen (like we're used to). By 5ish Shawn was moving over to the empty bed because Michael had literally kicked him out. I'm not sure if there were feet swinging or anything but either way Shawn had a rude awakening from hitting the floor. I think Michael was up by 6 and wasn't planning on going back to sleep, I kept waking up every hour or so from him whining about one thing or another. Let's just say I'm glad he can get a banana on his own. (The kid has to learn to fend for er take care of himself at some point right?) See, if I had walls and doors we would have all had a full nights sleep and made it to church this morning.

Yes, another Sunday with no church. It's sad I know. We were fully planning on going to check out a church this morning but neither of us set our alarm because we figured the kids would have us up in plenty of time to go. Technically, okay, they did. However I don't count being woken up just about every hour as getting rest and when 7 rolled around I could hardly open my eyes to change Lydia's diaper let alone even consider getting up and ready to be around people. So we'll give it another go next Sunday. We did eventually get up and take a drive over to our house and the park nearby just for a break from the hotel room. But first I drove the car, yes the new car with a shiftstick and I didn't do too bad. It was only in the parking lot to start because I'm still so nervous to drive on the road with other vehicles and people waiting for me to figure out how not to stall at a red light. So I'll do that again soon. I did stall a few times but I also started and stopped the car 5 times in a row without stalling - yay me!

After that we took a drive (Shawn driving) over to peek in at the new house. The door ended up being unlocked so we took a full look inside. (Still not sure why the door was unlocked.) So the kitchen is pretty small but for it's size has decent counter space and a lot of cabinets including a deep pantry closet with shelves. So I can put dry food and stuff in there and still have space for the vacuum, broom & mop. There isn't a washer and dryer in there right now but there is space and hookups for one in the kitchen so I'm hoping they put those in or we'll have to look for some in the freebies or whatever they have out here. The kitchen is sorta 'L' shaped and you can walk into it when you turn left at the entryway and there's another opening to the dining/living room. There is a dishwasher which is exciting. The kitchen floor is linoleum. The rest of the downstairs of tile flooring, like you find at a grocery store, white with gray streaks. Not so attractive or nice to walk on so we'll be getting carpet for the living room. The living/dining area is really small. I'm still not sure how the furniture will fit in or what we'll need to get rid of. It's hard to picture it all so we'll just see when we get in and get everything moved in. Some bonuses are a lot of windows and good lighting and I have full view of the backyard when Michael is playing out there. Upstairs are three bedrooms and the bathroom and another closet. The kids' rooms are pretty small, Lydia will be in the smallest since she has less stuff and will be playing wherever I am most of the day. Michael's isn't too bad and they both have closets that are big enough for their needs. Plus each closet has extra storage space above the shelf they would be using that I can use for things like Christmas decorations and whatever else I don't need access too all the time. Our room is the largest of course but that's not saying much. I looked around the room and there was one small closet - even smaller than the one in Lydia's room. My jaw dropped and my mind was racing trying to figure out how in the world all of Shawn's uniforms and equipment would fit in there let alone my stuff (not that I have a lot of clothes or a huge shoe collection) or his civilian clothes. Then Shawn found the other closet behind the opened bedroom door - whew. So it's a his and hers thing, we still may have some issues with all of his stuff but we'll deal with it when the time comes. All of the floor upstairs are wood and the bathroom has nice looking linoleum. Oh and the closet space in there - wow. There is a linen closet plus a built in of cabinets. Overall the house will be great, we'll just need to do a few things like the carpet and maybe some window treatments. My only complaint is the small living room but we'll make do. Besides, this home is temporary. It was fun to get a look at the place.

After that we went to the great park which is just down the street and Michael had a lot of fun playing. There is so much space for him to run on and great things to do. I'll post some photos in the future when we are settled. We got a couple cold coffees at Starbucks while we were there. Then we came back home for naps and laundry. Of course the washers and dryers were full so I'm blogging instead. I'll have to check back on those. So anyway, that was our Sunday, so far anyway. I don't think we'll do much else today except get ready for the coming week. Hope you all enjoyed the sabbath and have a good evening.

a mom's rant and search for help

Okay, so am I the only mom who wants to just get away for a day - no diapers, no sippy cups, no nursing, no baths, no park, no nothing but whatever I feel like. I can't be because my life is probably not much different than other stay at home moms out there. Don't get me wrong, I love being a sahm and the precious time I get to spend with my kids; teaching them, loving them, encouraging them. But to have a day that I can sleep in, lounge, go out (without it taking at least 30 min to get out the door), shop without little hands reaching at everything and little feet running a muck. Then the guilt creeps in, feeling like a bad mommy because I'm complaining about my little blessings. I guess our current living situation has just heightened everything and made me more aware of some stuff. It doesn't help that Shawn already knows people and has friends to hang out with, glad for him - stinks for me. How I miss being able to call a friend to meet at the park, grab lunch or just go hang out. Any prayers on this area would be much appreciated. I know God has placed us here for a reason and I've had ideas about my purpose in this place but it's hard to see the promised land when you're stuck on the other side of the mountain (does that make sense?). Anyway, I'd appreciate the prayer.

Thanks for letting me rant a little and exhale, let it go. That's a little odd isn't it? I'm thanking you for letting me rant when you really had no choice. You clicked on a link, typed in a website or just stumbled upon here without any warning of my mood or thoughts. I guess I should say thanks for reading/listening.

Anyway, we have hit a milestone for little Mikey today - he has shown true interest to take care of business. He absolutely does not like sitting on the toilet though so I don't know whats going to happen come poo poo time. As it is we have to get a little stool so he can stand at the toilet for pee pee. I've thought of getting one of those little seat covers that make the hole smaller (so his skinny buns don't fall in) but that doesn't help with the height issue. And I've got no idea what the bathroom looks like or how much space we'll have for a stool & seat cover...alas I may have to cave in and get a wretched interest in using the poddy. While he is still learning the difference between "feeling like you have to go pee pee" and "mommy saying 'let me know when you have to go pee pee' " - he's at least interested. When the last of his diapers run out we're getting pull ups so it will be easier for him to bolt to the poddypoddy training seat. I think they are disgusting and have been dreading the thought of cleaning one of those things out, it getting knocked over all over the floor, or worse - Lydia making a new discovery when she starts to crawl. (Yuck!!) My best hope is that Michael grows taller and gets over the fear of the toilet seat within 3-5 months. (I think that's about when she'll be crawling - can't remember how old Michael was when he did at the moment) So if any of you have poddy trained a boy or a girl for that matter (boys sit half the time too) I would appreciate suggestions. I'm sitting here wondering, when do we start putting underwear on him? How many extra sheets should I buy? How many spare pants and underwear should I keep handy in the car? How does the car seat come apart to give a thorough cleaning? What signs do I look for (beside poddy dance) that he has to go so I can help remind him? And so on... So like I said, any suggestions would be helpful.

I think that's about it for today. I think Michael is finally really sleeping so I can have some ice-cream without having to tell him I'm not sharing. (If I can't get a day off I'll at least enjoy my ice-cream in peace) : )

Thanks for the visit.