So I'm at a loss of words. There hasn't been much excitement to post about. My grand ideas of finishing up the downstairs remained just that - ideas. I've noticed something about myself lately and I'm not sure that I like it much. I guess knowing your problem or whatever you don't like is & admitting it is half the battle. So here goes - I'm quite lazy & I'm all talk. My flesh wants to justify itself right now by saying 'the kids take so much time, you are tired, etc' and while these things may be true I don't do as much as I think about doing. I will sit & write up lists of things to do (so I actually type them up on a word document and no I don't print it out) and lately I've been thinking of how I can better schedule my day. So I have my lists & my thoughts but when it comes down to it I don't do a thing. I have done some work around the house like I've talked about in earlier posts but I haven't done nearly as much as I could have. For anyone who's thinking, oh she's being too hard on herself & she's got so much going on right now. True, I do tend to give myself a hard time and there is a lot going on right now, and I've been under various emotional stress. But still, I need to just work through it already. I think I've been hanging onto my emotional 'baggage' as a reason to not do anything. Not to say I don't ever deserve a break but my break vs work ratio has been out of balance lately. And I hate to say it but I think this blog is partly to blame. Oh how I love to write about the days events, stories of the kids, random thoughts & post pictures. And even more I enjoy reading up on all my favorite blogs and exploring to find new ones. Don't worry, this isn't my final blog or anything - are you kidding I've got ideas for this thing - but I will need to limit my time spent on my computer. Ah, I feel better somehow. I don't know I guess in a way this seems like some kind of accountability for me. Changes that I need to make are no longer just in my thoughts but out here in cyberspace for this whole blogosphere to see if they so desired. So, if it sounds like I'm being a little lazy - call me out on it. But be nice, cuz I am going through stuff. If I don't post about the progress of my house for a few days ask me how its going. I'll either tell you what I've done or say 'ok, you caught me'. Thanks for the visit & stay tuned for my progress.
My Cleaning Music
1 comment:
I've been in the same place lately if it makes you feel any better. You don't even want to see the lists girl. But the kids have been sick...then I got sick...we're getting ready to move.... the truth is I'm just not motivated right now. Not even a little bit. I think God is getting ready to change that...I've had some thoughts in my head that I've been wanting to go over with a few people...gotta get that BOLD attitude back. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just do whatever is put in front of you. Sort through all of your plans and make sure they are His plans for you too. It'll work itself out. Sometimes (especially when we feel like we have SO much to do) it's better to just sit back and LISTEN and wait for Him. Even though it's hard ;)
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