Today is mothers day. It is my first mothers day with both of my kids {last year I was 5 months pregnant with Lydia}. It is sadly also my first mother's day without my own mother. I knew this day would be a mix of emotions for me. Joy in celebrating being a mother and sadness at the loss of my own. What I didn't expect were the emotions leading up to this point. Seeing commercials advertising gift ideas, flowers & cards for mothers day made me want to throw things at the TV, instead I would change the channel but you get the idea. It has been 4 months and 2 days since she was suddenly & violently taken from us and I'm still sorting through my emotions. I've been wondering things like 'is there a mothers day in heaven?', 'does she know the struggle I am having now?'.With as much as I am unsure of there are some things I know for sure. I know that she loved me and was proud of me. I know that she loved my kids and thought that I was a wonderful mom. I know that she knew how much I loved and appreciated her. We were very close before she passed and for that I am thankful. I also know that she is now dancing with Jesus and full of more joy than she had ever imagined. I still miss her, and I don't think that will ever stop - I wouldn't want it to. I encourage anyone who has a strained relationship with their mother {or anyone for that matter} to resolve it. Do whatever you've got to do and forgive them, holding onto bitterness & resentment doesn't hurt the other person, it hurts you. If someone you loved passed before you were able to make amends then make peace with it now and don't carry it one more day.
I'm a closet Dr. Phil & Oprah watcher - not everyday but often. Friday Oprah had Maria Shriver on and she had interviewed a couple of famous moms. There are a couple of segments from her interview with Demi Moore that stood out to me and I'm sure we can all relate on some level. You can click here, here, and here to read for yourself.
Some things my mom taught me {sometimes without realizing it}:
* How to love without condition.
* The importance of forgiving.
* To take care of & love myself.
* God's grace & mercy.
* How to be the best mom I can be.
Happy Mother's Day Mom. I love & miss you.
3 comments:
Rebecca,
I am so sorry for your loss but I admire your strength and your focus. You have wisdom beyond your years.
Happy Mother's Day
Linda
Rebecca, that was a great post. I pray continuous healing, hope, and strength through your upcoming years as daughter and mother yourself. I do believe that Renee knows and sees--I believe she has got her arms around you right now.
Out of your suffering comes truth and light and healing for others. People are listening because you are living it. I've known you since your early teens but I see in you now an authority and urgency you did not possess then. How I sense His joy and gladness in you!
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